so sick of love songs.

Ne-yo clearly knew what he was talking about when he said he was so sick of love songs.

I have been put through shit that I never thought I would be drug through. This man who I loved left me for a druggie prostitute. A 34 year old “woman” who would be easily mistaken for a 60 year old any day. A woman who lost custody of all three of her children. He left me for her and of course everything was volatile with the two of them at all times. To the point where he was locked up for a week behind a situation with her. He was barred from contacting her in any capacity…I told him the condition of him being here is that he doesn’t contact her either.

What does he do?

He continues to contact her. He continues to see her regularly. He continues to tell her that he loves her and that he wants to marry her. Tells me that he says this stuff to her as bullshit…to get what he wants. This same man who would never go anywhere with me, do anything with me will go out to the mall for two and three hours at a time with her. With this woman who he isn’t even supposed to be seeing. This was just one day ago.

What infuriates me that much more is that I was good to him. I never dated anyone the entire time he was out fucking around with her. I never even attempted to date anyone while he was planning on moving in with this psychotic bitch who he said he love. I was encouraged to go on dates, to see other people because evidently that is what would help me get over him.

But what did I do?

I didn’t see anyone. I didn’t attempt to date anyone….I stuck around and hoped and prayed shit would work out with him. As he continued to see her. He continued to talk to her and make it known to her that she is the one he wants. He continues to say to me, I was just saying it because I needed something from her. I said it to keep her happy.

Yet he does absolutely NOTHING to try to keep me happy. The one who has constantly been there through all of this shit and stuck by his side. Nothing is ever done to make or keep me happy. But in my stupidity I continue to stay. I continued to stick by his side and take the bullshit hoping that one day soon things would change. In an text message that was forwarded to me, he called her his wife. He said he loves his wife…

He might’ve verbally said those things to me, but never like he does to her.

Everyday it gets worse and worse rather than better than better.

That’s what makes me an idiot.

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