Why should I?

I would love to walk away and not think twice about you. To completely eradicate you from my psyche and say to heck with it, another loss taken. I am sure it would feel amazing to be able to sit back and relish in the fact that you indeed miss me and would love to know more about me.

However, I know that is not exactly the case. Or at least that’s what it feels like right now. The opportunity lately has not presented itself for me to be able to sit with you and have a serious chat. You know, sit back and sort some things out. Explain and clarify some things that are otherwise blurry and vague to me. There is something about you that I cannot shake. I cannot shake you from my heart…

There’s something you’ve said or done that has impacted my soul so much that it won’t let you go. It will not allow me to forget you, yet when I do somewhat come to grips with reality that you’re just not that into me, you reappear. You show back up in my world some way or another. Whether it’s your face popping up on my computer screen or a quick and simple text message reminding me you’re still there…I cannot let you go. And I do not know why. One of the more memorable things you said to me the last time we spoke was that although you and I might not speak often that doesn’t mean I’m not on your mind…

You’ve never let me know that by actions though. I guess the bottom line is I’d like to know what really you want from me. No one is forcing you to be taken off the meat market, no one is forcing you to change your day-to-day life. I don’t want to change a thing about you…that’s what has drawn me to you…who you are at this very moment.

The big question for me though is just how long should I be patient and see what you do? How many opportunities shall I miss waiting to see if you are as into me as your mouth says but your actions don’t?

Call me foolish, but I’m almost ready to wait forever….

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