no! not the four letter WORD!

Okay…we all know that four letter word that some of us truly despise. I actually resent this word being used if you don’t mean it. For me, it means I really and truly am something special to you and that you’re not saying to anyone else but ME.

Probably NOT the case, but hey…I can dream right?

So what word am I talking about? Did you guess L-O-V-E?

Well you’re wrong…

I’m talking about the word B-A-B-Y. Please do not call me baby unless you mean that shit. Seriously…calling me baby, especially if I am obviously into you and want to get to know you a bit further, signifies a level of “ownership” in a way to me. It’s like you’re saying, the feeling is mutual, I’m digging you and I am kind of on my way to making you my girl.

I’m sure I’m wrong on my analysis but again, I can dream. Now, if you’re a complete stranger and you utter that four letter word to me, then you’ll come off as a creeper. One who is just out for the kitty and that’s it. Nothing more. It’s just when it’s a person I am seriously in to and might eventually want to take something to another level says it, it just does something to me.

So word to the wise, unless the feeling is mutual and you plan on taking it to a higher and respectable level, DO NOT  let that word roll off your tongue.

I will take it seriously….

Now that other evil four letter word…yeah, it can go to hell. Seriously. Who needs love?

Mental Rape.

You’ve mentally raped me. And you don’t even know it.

I didn’t succumb to the emotional rape, but I was so close I could almost taste it. You are a tangible person only when it’s a good time for you…and I am bothered by this. You are a person with whom I have gracefully fallen into a trap for; a trap that I have set for myself but was perfected by you.

And you don’t even know it.

There comes a time when the wait for you is no longer there and I am hoping that time comes soon. However, there’s something about you that says stay. There’s something about your radiating spirit that still draws me to you…like an orb. There’s a fire that I cannot put out when it comes to my thoughts of you.

I know I should extinguish it soon…

But I don’t want to.

Jungle Fevaaaah

Something I’ve noticed over my short life time insofar is the negatives surrounding certain interracial relationships. Even in the 21st century, it appears to still be taboo or frowned upon for minority women to date White men…but yet it’s okay for our “brotha’s” to date, marry and have children with White women.

Why the differences?

I do not see nearly as many influential, about “something”, White men dating women of color as much as well to do, influential Black men dating and marrying White women. I know it does happen, but not nearly at the rate of the aforementioned. I personally do not discriminate and have an equal love for the Caucasian persuasion.


I am RARELY approached by White men who can bring something to the table…I wonder why? Hmmm…

My minority sisters, it’s okay to date outside of the color lines. I promise…it won’t hurt you. There is a rumor that White men lack in the bedroom area and truthfully, any man of any race could be lacking in the bedroom area so out you go with that stereotype. In all actuality, I have found the White men I have dealt with in my lifetime have been much more attentive and seemingly caring than the Black men I’ve dealt with. (so sue me…just my experiences and no, I will not change that statement so get over it or step up your game) They don’t seem to play as many games either…

So why am I not with one now you ask?

Because I was wrapped in a very, very long relationship for a good portion of my existence and am in the past year really getting over that….so I’ve not taken the ones who have approached that seriously. Only up until recently have I taken any guy seriously…to be not taken seriously by him. (Please see my prior postings….)


(well, maybe a little…)

Okay so we’re not exactly bitter…


We’re just not going to put up with petty bullshit anymore. And by that if you think we’re bitter, then so be it. If you continue on the path of treatment the way you are treating us then we will for sure become bitter. We’ll become cold as dry ice and eventually morph into full-blown man-eaters. We will learn to play the game of playing the game and perfect the craft so well, we’ll continuously beat you at your own game of dating.

Because you men as a whole have taken the tender hearts of women, not all men, and not all women, but the good women and threw them in a blender. Not only did you throw such a valuable organ in a blender in the first place, you placed it in there and put it on puree and let it sit there…and fester with flies and become an inevitable maggot food.

Okay, I know that was not a pretty visual…but you get the point.

Stop being such asses (men and women) and treat your potential right please.

This was inspired by a friend and the situation she’s going through. 🙂


{just to get laid}

So there’s an epidemic going around. I’ve heard it’s where guys will say anything to a woman to get her in the sack. Whatever it will take to land her as another notch on their belt.

Even if it means hurting a good one…

Listen up guys…stop thinking your penis owns anyone’s vagina. Sadly, that is not the case. You might say you don’t like to share but why is it okay for you to share your goods? I am not exactly talking about only the physical aspect, but the emotional side of you. Why should a woman give you her body and be committed to you and your member if you cannot commit to her?

You can’t commit to her emotionally and only partially physically. Please, leave the building with that business and do not return until you’ve gathered your senses.

Oh yes, and don’t call her a whore: if you slept with her, what exactly do you think that makes you?

Um. A whore.

Ladies, if he’s not willing to make you his main course, why would you settle for being just the appetizer or the side dish when he’ll be going home to his filet mignon?

Get it together people….and wrap it up while you’re at it!


Guys, sometimes your lady wants to hear you tell her she’s beautiful. We don’t always want to hear we are sexy….hot….or whatever. Say that one “B” word that will make us melt in your arms.

Don’t complain about a woman not having much self confidence; if she never hears it, then how else would she know?

That said….

Just do it.

A war between the heart and mind. And the soul to bear witness.

I, like a good deal of human beings at some point in their life, am experiencing a war between my heart and my mind. My heart is screaming at me, trying to pull me in one direction while my mind is yelling at the top of its lungs for me to go in another direction; a realistic direction. My heart tells me it’ll be okay, not to be angry with yourself but my mind of course is saying, get real. You knew what it was from the beginning.

In saying this, I am referencing all kinds of relationship. Not just the obvious romantic relationship that is automatically assumed to be the one I am talking about in this writing. I have a good deal of close friends..I’d like to say that if ever I needed anything I could pick up the phone and call any one of them and they’d be there no matter what. However, I’ve had some “friends” in my past and some present who are much better at lip service than actual friend service. I had someone (a co-worker) get upset with me because I refused to befriend another co-worker of whom I didn’t trust. There was a good reason in my mind to stay clear of this human being and that was because of the false presentations she was giving the world.

This human being professed herself to be a “preacher” yet she indulged herself in the way of the world on a regular basis. It was nothing to hear stories about how she fought some woman over her POS “baby daddy”…I hate that term. We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Anyway, I saw through the bullshit for lack of better wording. Long story short, the co-worker who I thought was a good friend of mine turned her back on me. And never returned. She felt like I needed to be best friends with this heathen of a person who I felt I had good reason not to deal with.

But whatever.

We all know that friendships can also be a war of the heart and mind but oftentimes are in denial with one another about the dynamics of such friendships. Sometimes it’s one or another who is constantly the initiator of the friendship…it’s like a romantic relationship, it’s a two-way street people.

Romantic relationships: yeah, okay that’s a whole ‘nother conversation. That is a very clear and concise war between the heart and the mind that we have all understood at some point in life. It is a constant war that one will never win unless there are two players in the game rather than one trying to make it work. Sadly, each person or one of the two, will bear their soul for the other to see. Now whether or not it works out, this soul bearing activity can work for the best or the worst. It can be something that helps the other party better understand where the other is coming from or it can be used as a tool to hurt the other person. Once you’ve bared your soul and opened up that window to your heart, there’s no turning back. That leaves a person very vulnerable to being heartbroken …

Choose your people wisely….