Do not let the attractive face fool you.

Ladies and gentlemen. My brothers and sisters. You all have got to stop this foolishness.

A topic rarely visited by our minority community is protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Now, I am targeting the minority community because based on statistics, this is where the most issue lies. (http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats10/minorities.htm statistics do not lie people)

Blacks—In 2010, the overall rate among blacks in the United States was 1,167.5 cases per 100,000, a 4.0% increase from the 2009 rate of 1,122.2 cases per 100,000. The rate of chlamydia among black women was over seven times the rate among white women (1,536.5 and 205.1 per 100,000 women, respectively) (Figure O). The chlamydia rate among black men was almost 11 times the rate among white men (761.8 and 69.9 cases per 100,000 men, respectively).

Just because you see an attractive woman or an attractive man, that does not mean you dive in unprotected. What people do not realize is that these diseases can lay dormant for years and not come to fruition until years later. Now, just because a person has contracted something, doesn’t mean he or she was or is promiscuous. One cannot control what their significant other, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancée, husband or wife do outside of a monogamous relationship. This is where it is more imperative now than ever to be protected and to stay faithful if you are in a relationship with someone. ANYONE is at risk, even those of you who have stayed faithful and may have only had ONE partner in life. Even those who kept their virginity until marriage. You can only account for what your husband/wife has told you.

Don’t judge a person who might’ve had something once before that has been cured. You don’t know the circumstances surrounding the contraction because remember, it only takes ONE person to be unfaithful to pass it to their partner unknowingly. Or it only takes one person that you trusted to be honest to give you an STD without any fair warning. Remember, they might not have known themselves.

Do not get offended if your partner asks to be tested together; it’s for both of your protection and not making any implications that one or the other has cheated. We need to get REAL about this serious topic and stop living in a fantasy world that it could “never happen to me”.

In closing, don’t let the attractive face fool you. I read way too many sad stories of lives being ruined from one night of instant gratification…

 

{Men: stop it. It’s not amusing. Ladies, do better.}

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So I had a conversation with a guy friend of mine and we were talking about the approach some men take with women. It’s never okay to approach a woman with the mindset that you’re this successful rapper who can be sexually demeaning to a woman to try to land her in the sack…

If you approach her with a simplistic “hello”, I promise you’ll yield much better results. What respectable woman will fall for someone who consistently refers to women as bitches and hoes? If indeed you do snag this “woman” after you’ve dogged women out and said that if that “ho don’t act right” that you’ll just go call your “other ho”, then what kind of keeper do you really think she’ll be?

Do you honestly think you’ll be able to take such a hood rat home to mommy?

Unlikely. Fellas, step your dialogue game up. You cannot possibly expect this same woman to be faithful to you either after you’ve been so blunt as to say you’d call another “woman” if she doesn’t act right. Then you know what will happen?

You’ll be the first one to get mad when she does cheat. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If you are going to be a serial womanizer, demeanor and cheater, do it on your own time with a “woman” who will agree to it and who you won’t be mad when she steps out on you.

I use the term woman to describe these female beings very loosely as no WOMAN would ever allow for such trash to be called her significant other.

Ladies, we’ve got to do better. The misogynistic view of women incorporated by today’s hip hop, rock and rock star culture is inappropriate and downright disgusting. There was once a time when women like Lena Horne, Pam Grier, Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, Sofia Loren and the likes were the “cover girls”; the epitome of every young man’s fantasy. No matter what was going on behind the scenes with these women (whether good or bad) the composure that they kept in front of people was definitely a force to be reckoned with. These were respectable women who stood proudly and walked with dignity and upheld high standards that all little girls wanted to emulate.

We have got to bring that dignity of being a woman back to society once and for all…

My class reunion…

My ten year class reunion is this weekend. I have not seen many of these classmates in excess of twelve years or more…and am anxiously awaiting this spectacle. Truthfully, I am excited, but also a bit afraid.

I’m afraid that people won’t remember me. You see, when I was a sophomore in high school, my mother pulled me out of the school, the environment I had known for 15 years of my life to go to a rival school. Of course I was not happy at all. I wanted so badly to stay in familiar territory. I wanted to stay with the friends I had grown up with and grown to love.

This weekend I am going to waltz myself down to the coast and pray that I don’t feel too awkward not seeing these folks in so many years. I pray that I don’t fumble too many people’s names and that I look completely different than what they remember me. I was a very skinny and, for lack of better words, a bit ugly growing up. I’m excited to see those who I was close with, and those I wasn’t so close to just to catch up.

Yep, this is the dork that most everyone will remember. 🙂

I can’t wait to see you all there…

Politically correct…or just wrong?

There was a ruckus created on my Facebook page the day before yesterday all because a friend of mine used a typical southern colloquialism. Nothing harmful. Nothing a good deal of us southerners haven’t said many times in our lifetime.

The offending statement you’d like to know?

He said this “Poor Indian girl…”

Well, another friend of mine immediately jumped him on my Facebook page saying adamantly he should never use the words “poor” and “Indian” in the same sentence that we “Indians” don’t need his sympathy. Well, you see, the example that I gave to back my friend who made the statement was when many of us have said in life, “Awww poor baby!”

Who hasn’t said that? You’d be a lie if you say you haven’t.

Now this is where I personally take issue: the word Indian. This past Monday was Columbus Day. This is a day that should not be celebrated in any regard because this man basically came to the Americas in 1492 and began the slaughterhouse of what is called America on the indigenous people who were already living here. He brought diseases to these people who had no immunity to them and of course later on the fact that these people were forced by the Europeans to give up their land to them.

Ever heard of the trail of tears?

Anyway, Christopher Columbus was under the impression that this great mass of land he found was indeed India. India a land of riches that he was searching, thereby naming the inhabitants “Indians”. However, this is not where he landed. He landed in what is presently known as the great United States of America. A place that was already inhabited by a group of people that were later classified so brutally as savages and killed off by way of force or disease. A group of people who received citizenship to a place where they called home for hundreds of years prior to gaining this achievement in…

Wait for it…

1924. The Indian Citizenship Act of 1924 is what allowed for the Native Americans to be considered citizens of this fine country. There were many who married Caucasian people in order to attain this “honor”. Honor? Yeah, okay.

My family stems from the Lumbee tribe, a tribe that has roots associated with the Tuscarora Native Americans and of course, Scotch Irish people. This is a tribe that is the largest east of the Mississippi river yet isn’t Federally recognized. We are a group of people that are very rich in cultural history and in the shaping of America. We were NOT born in India therefore we are not Indians. Personally, I despise the terms Indian and American Indian. Either way, I have no connections to the country of India so I shouldn’t be referred to as such.

Some will argue that everyone who has been born in the United States is “Native American”. Right. So I guess African Americans were all born in Africa and inherited citizenship in America as soon as …when? It is a great injustice to my people that we have been allotted small portions of this nation and live in such horrific conditions. It is a shame that we have some of the highest alcohol abuse and drug abuse rates. It is a shame that we’ve been reduced to being caricatured time and time again as a ploy to gain money for the masses.

I am not saying any particular group of people has been done more unjustly than another, but folks should really recognize that the Native Americans (not INDIANS) were pushed off their own lands and forced to assimilate into European culture. These are people who were a peaceful people until forced to defend their women and children.

That said, we should all cease and desist the term Indian to describe my people. To me, being called “Indian” is the equivalent to African Americans being called “Negros” still because that’s how the Europeans labeled them. The word Indian has already been taken and that’s for people from the country that we call India.

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Not sad now. More angry.

They say it gets easier every day. It’s not any easier. It’s harder. It’s harder each year that goes by and you’re gone with no possibility of you ever coming back. I will never have the opportunity to hear your voice again. I will never have the opportunity to feel your touch, to hear your laughter, to see your smile. You left this world far too soon and it saddens me still. It’s been almost eight years and yet I cannot forget you.

However, I sometimes forget what you sound like. It’s so damned heartbreaking Michael. There are times when I sit in my room alone and cry. I cry because I miss you. I cry because I am angry with you. Wasn’t there some OTHER choice rather than your life? I am angry that I loved you so much and that the last thing I said to you was to have a nice life without me. That is a day I will NEVER forget. You called me up to tell me that your girlfriend didn’t want you talking to me ever again because of our history. I was dating someone else just as you were.

You were my best friend.

After we got off the phone I cried. I cried because my best friend wouldn’t talk to me anymore because of a woman who he had just finished stressing himself out over and complaining to me and his mother about. So what did I do? Oh naturally I called your mom and talked to her for a while. She said she told you that you shouldn’t cut me off…that it might be a bad decision.

God I wish you would’ve listened. WHY WERE YOU SO HARD HEADED? Michael it wasn’t that serious.

I was there for you…

At the time I was pregnant and alone. My grandmother had also just come out of two back to back brain surgeries at Pitt Memorial Hospital due to a car accident she was in months before. My boyfriend at the time didn’t want anything to do with myself or his unborn child. I couldn’t talk to either person I wanted to talk to most; you or my grandmother. I was very depressed and wanted you to hold me so badly. I wanted you to tell me it would be okay. I wanted you to run your fingers through my hair like you had so many times before and place a soft kiss upon my forehead and reassure me everything would work out in the end.

When I told you I was pregnant I could feel your hurt. I felt it through the phone…I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would’ve broken you. And I think to an extent, it did. For that, I am sorry.

My cousin just said to me last night the reason for you coming into my life and loving me was to show me in the future how I SHOULD be treated. I love you so much….I miss you and I am so mad at you. I would give damn near anything just to hear your voice one more time. One more time.

I think that’s why when I do meet a guy I am seriously into (whether they know it or not) I want to hold on to them and learn to love them.

I don’t want to go through that kind of hurt again and want to feel that kind of love all over again…

It’s not desperation. it’s just being.

Okay okay okay. Seriously people? What gives? What is it about me that oozes sexuality? What is it about me that seems to lead damn near every guy who attempts to speak to me to thinking that I am some kind of a sex fiend who will give it up at the drop of a dime?

I am my usual silly self on my facebook, rarely anything suggestive and if anything, I am much more of a sap on my facebook page than a woman playing in the ring of whoredom. There was a time in my life I will admit that I might’ve considered and acted upon such instant gratifications. No longer the case though. I am nearing thirty years old and do not have the time or patience to be involved with such behaviors. Really.

And I mean it.

I made that mistake not too long ago, and of course I do fault myself for that. Nothing should’v ever happened but it did and I am not exactly regretful for it, but saddened. Saddened that I didn’t stand my ground like I said I would.

He was simply irresistible though. If you saw him, you would’ve too.

I might take time out to speak to a guy and get to know them and things are seemingly going well; however, I cannot read the male mind. We women are complicated enough, definitely cannot decipher the mind of a confused, horny man. That said, I personally would like to know what it is about me that sends that message. I would understand if I was always wearing overly suggestive clothing items. I would understand if I was always talking about sex and getting “some” all over my facebook or even in person. But I don’t do these things. I am just me.

I’ve been told that men can pick up on a damaged hurt woman. That they almost have this instinct that she’s been hurt by someone else so therefore, I can smooze her for a bit and get her to do anything. That works to a degree. Sadly. However, I have been over my last heartbreak for years now, so what gives?

Gentlemen, please understand this, just because a woman may come across as vulnerable and prone to do anything, don’t do her like that. Don’t take advantage of a woman who has been scorned because all that will happen out of that, is she’ll catch on to your motives and in the end be a bitter, bitter woman. Then you all will be the main ones screaming why are you women all so bitter?

Treat us right and don’t take advantage and I promise the inner bitch that lies dormant will not rear her ugly head nearly as frequently as you think she does.

{the packaging warns you…}

Okay, I know I am going to get some flack about this posting. But it’s ok, I feel like talking about it.

Cigarette smokers.

You all do know that there are cancer causing agents in each cigarette you inhale? Right? It’s much like rolling up a nice fatty of cow poo and smoking it. Yep, that’s right. The same methane gas that is emitted from cow poo is the same stuff that’s inside a cancer stick. In the beginning, I am sure tobacco was not NEARLY the health hazard that it is today as the harsh chemicals that are added were not in the ingredients before. Much like marijuana (that’s a whole nother topic I’ll tackle shortly), tobacco is a plant that is grown from the Earth. I do believe if left in a natural state, it would be not nearly as harmful. That said, I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone would willingly participate in such activities knowing the risks involved.

This brings me to another point.

The average cost for a pack of cigarettes now is hovering around $5 a pop in the great tobacco state of North Carolina. That’s pretty high if you ask me. If you’re a heavy smoker and you go through a pack a day, then that’s on average $150 a month. Roughly $1800 a year. Do you know what I could do with that kind of money?

Yet there are some of you who constantly complain about being broke. How is it that you can complain of being broke when you smoke up your money every day like it’s nothing? Don’t tell me you can’t quit either, I have two co workers who have quite for twenty plus years and were both heavy smokers for years. It’s like with anything you put your mind to, you can quit. You have to WANT to. It just irritates me to no end hearing about how a person can’t find a job, isn’t working can’t afford anything yet you spend what little bit of extra money received on such a wasteful product.

But whatever. It’s your life.

Oh and don’t complain about the higher premium for smokers. Yes, you should pay a higher insurance premium because you are making the sound DECISION to put that cigarette to your mouth and inhale. No one is forcing you and you willingly and knowingly know the consequences. Same thing goes for the BMI index for insurance purposes. No, I do not think everyone should be a model stick figure, but if you are morbidly obese and are doing absolutely NOTHING about it, then yes, you should also pay more. Get up and move around. Stop eating fast food and start cooking healthier and learn a little portion control.

Yes, I said it.

Now, my smokers rant is over. My next one will probably be that of drug users. Not Marijuana users, but actual drug users.

Until next time.